Tuesday, May 08, 2007

I Owe My Mother

In light of Mother's Day coming up, Pastor Stan Lightfoot passed along to me a list which shows how much we owe our mothers (all tongue-in-cheek, of course).

1. My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me religion: "You better pray that this will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me logic: "Because I said so, that's why."
4. My mother taught me more logic: "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
5. My mother taught me about contortionism: "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
6. My mother taught me stamina: "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
7. My mother taught me about anticipation: "Just wait until we get home."
8. My mother taught me about receiving: "You are going to get it when you get home!"
9. My mother taught me medical science: "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
10. My mother taught me ESP: "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
11. My mother taught me humor: "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
12. My mother taught me how to become an adult: "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
13. My mother taught me wisdom: "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
14. My mother taught me about justice: "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

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